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I am just so sick of being lied to and hurt. I am a grown woman with adult responsibility. I have my OWN home, car, a full time job- yea you can say I have my shit together.but all I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with the one I have been in love with for over 9 years! The one who constantly STAYS on my mind and even though I have been living with another man, even married to another man for years I have been in love with YOU. So it sounds a little crazy, right? Well it is what it is and I am tired of you coming into my life when it is convenient for you. If I am not what you want then LEAVE ME ALONE for good. This is the last time I will do this we have done this I dont know how many times and I am so confused you tell me you want "us" but then you just go without any notice or nothing. My heart can not take the hurt I am too old for the teenage high school bullshit. I just want a straight answer and then maybe I can move on instead of the "what ifs" dangling around in my mind. I keep making excuses but I think I already know the answer