Hoping to find my . Seriously... This is gonna be long and complete, I suggest you a coffee. Props if you actually make it to the bottom... Disclaimer: I feel compelled to mention this and not waste anyone's time... Any gentile-lady looking for her prince charming... You should probably pass. I don't make six figures, I never wear suits and , and I'm awkward. I'm also not a sword-fighter and I don't gallivant around the country-side bareback riding and yelling at serfs in a British . I am also 5' lbs. and have no fat on me (skinny yet strong). I'm not college educated, and I don't care if you are or aren't. Rest assured, I'm not an imbecile (props to you if you read that last phrase in Stewie 's voice); if a college degree is that important, I am not your type. My temper has a long fuse (I don't sweat the small stuff, and most of it is small stuff). I'm very cynical. I have an sense of humor as well, though I seem to people up easily with my left-field random utterances. I'm a little awkward socially until I know you. I suppose I could be socially classified as a male with some Alpha male traits... I'll admit I'm not to "with" these classifications. Alpha, , what the hell is a Gamma male, radioactive? I'll have a beer once in a great while, and I quit smoking about a month ago. If you smoke I'm okay with it. I have very Libertarian political views (if you haven't guessed). Until we get some people in office that know what the Constitution is, any discussion of politics is a waste of time; it's a one-party ruling class ownership of the "United States of America, Inc." Seriously, the United States is incorporated, don't believe me check it out. I avoid major cities like the plague. Any building over starts to make me feel cramped. I'd rather drive a hundred miles of dirt road through fields then one city block. I am one of the last people on earth to not have a cell , and I get along just fine without it. No, I have no plans to acquire one at any point in the future. I like . That can be taken a few ways. I also like propane-fired grills and A1 sauce. I have a cat. I like when girls are playfully cruel and somewhat commandeering/playfully . I have what is typiy referred to as a foot fetish. It's actually a kink because a fetish means you NEED it involved to become aroused, and also that a fetish refers to something that is not attached or part of the human body. I appreciate everything on a woman; I just happen to think feet and a woman wearing heels is something that is incredibly sexy (same as a girl wearing a revealing shirt or a short skirt). I like to kiss, massage, and be stepped on by a girl's feet or high heels. Why am I telling you upfront? Because a lot of women have problems with it; I don't want to be with a girl that isn't okay with it. I'd love to find a girl that understands and likes it as well, but I'm probably more likely to be struck by lightning. As far as the attributes that I'm looking for... between 5'-6' around the same age as me would be good, and though I'm not really piggy about how I look at women, I would be most attracted to a Caucasian girl that is somewhat fit (able to hop on a bike and go for a ride). Not being a heroine addict or a hippie-wannabe is also a big plus. That's a joke. I like it when a girl takes care of herself, but please, use organic make up if you do at all... :) If you send me a , I'll send you one back.

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employment opportunity
Position Available: My Girlfriend
Hiring Organization: Yours truly
Starting Date: ASAP
Position Description: My Girlfriend/Lover


Job Description:
I offer entertainment, mental frustration, happiness, and affection to qualified applicants. I am currently located in the Tarrant County area. Your work will include various tasks as outlined in the official job description.

Qualifications/Experience:
I am looking for a very special person. Only people who are very serious and passionate about this position should apply. You must be friendly and have good communication skills, work well with others and have the ability to lead others as well as follow. Intern positions could lead to a permanent position as my girlfriend.

Salary/funding:
There is none. Full-time girlfriend will be paid in affection.

Job Summary:
Schedules and/or participates in social interactions with Boyfriend, moral and/or emotional support of Girlfriend, participates in intimacy with Boyfriend(only), constructive criticism of boyfriends questionable ideas, amusement and intellectual stimulation for Boyfriend.

Duties and responsibilities may include, but are not limited to:
Answers tele and provides information/conversation to boyfriend.
Greets boyfriend and directs physical contact to appropriate body parts (i.e., kiss on the mouth).
Composes and types routine correspondence and memorandum using a computer and/or cellular .
Keeps secrets, but not "from" boyfriend.
Establishes and maintains affinities bonds through physical contact and/or other methods.
Occasional compliments or reassurance during times of emotional strife, or various other times of insecurity.
Spends time with boyfriend and likes it.
Participates in occasional field trips, wild goose chases, vacations, jungle outings, and/or other bad ideas.
Works in conjunction with to accomplish various tasks.
Performs other related duties as required.

Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities:
Knowledge and respect of a man's anatomy.
Knowledge and/or genuine interest in subject matters that Boyfriend finds intriguing.
Interpersonal skills.
Ability to kiss well.
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Ability to make Boyfriend laugh.
Ability to tolerate and/or interact with difficult and/or irrational individuals (i.e., Boyfriend).
Ability to establish priorities, work independently, and proceed with objectives without supervision.
Ability to handle and resolve recurring problems.
Willing to work overtime, holidays, and weekends as requested by Boyfriend.
Occasional travel may be necessary.
Strong work ethic and enthusiasm for Girlfriend position.
Occasional public declaration or support of public declaration of Girlfriend relationship status.
Willingness to accept being referred to as "Girlfriend" in multiple forms of communication (i.e., verbal conversation, electronic discourse, sign language, photographs, etc.) without cringing, gagging, or experiencing other discomfort.
Willingness to participate in sexual monogamy while in Girlfriend position.
Willingness to express position resignation and/or renegotiation directly and promptly with Boyfriend.

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